75 Dates To Celebrate Your Anniversary

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We find some peace knowing he has his dad with him now. Even if you just planned a normal dinner — spice it up with these darling printables! But with his 1 year anniversary I hate that word!

At 30 day mark,I took my Mother who lives here,too and we went to our 1st Grief Group,called The Compassionate Friends…they are a Nation Wide group and if anyone reads this would like to go to a meeting in their area,you may look them up on your computer,for one in your area…. While any gift that comes from the heart qualifies as the perfect 2-year anniversary gift, if you want to pick a present that follows custom, the traditional 2nd anniversary gift is cotton, with the more modern take being china or porcelain. Advertiser partners include American Express, U.

15 Romantic Anniversary Ideas

As soon as the fall weather hit I could feel it approaching. I will forever associate the colorful leaves, cool breeze and crisp air of Autumn with the helplessness I felt 7 years ago knowing my mother could slip from life at any moment. This year, as with past years, I spent time thinking about how I would cope with the day, I even started a blog post about it. The day came and went and I totally forgot about it. On the morning of October 24th I stepped out of my house and as soon as the smell of fall hit me I thought, holy crap, is it the day. When I looked at the date and realized it was actually the day after, I was shocked. We helped you reframe we offered youwe suggested a fun family activity forwe came up with a list of ways to we challenged you toand Litsa laid out a Clearly we advocate for finding constructive ways to acknowledge and cope with tough days; although I will totally support you in ignoring them if you so choose. But we highly recommend on days like the anniversary of a death that you first consider finding ways to honor and remember. You and others close to the loss can decide how. There is no right or wrong way. Whatever you do we recommend you think ahead, anticipate the hard parts, and make a plan. You may also be interested in our free mini eCourse, 1. Take flowers to the grave site, memorial site, or other place where you go to remember your loved one. Look at old photos and home videos. Do this alone and have a good cry or reminisce over photo albums with family and friends. Turn digital photos into a photo album on Shutterfly or Snapfish. Donate a few of your loved ones old belongings to a shelter or other charity. Volunteer with a charity or cause close to your loved ones heart. Plan a memorial service or candle light vigil. Reach out to someone else grieving the loss via letter, card, phone call, or e-mail. Host a dinner party and invite those who knew your loved ones best. Cook your loved ones favorite dish, use one of their recipies to prepare a meal, or host a pot luck and ask people to bring a dish your loved one liked. Light a candle in honor of your loved one. Visit or spend time in a place where you feel close to your loved one. Take the trip you had been planning or dreaming about. Read old notes, letters, or e-mails from your loved one. Distract yourself by getting together with friends, going to the movies, or taking a short trip. Create a new ritual to celebrate the life of your loved one. Choose a ritual that can be repeated in the years to come. Do something your loved one would have enjoyed. Build a memorial with portraits, personal items, and objects that remind you of your loved one. Spend time journaling about your loved one. Make a toast or say a prayer or blessing in their honor. Establish a scholarship in their name. Make a keepsake box of things that remind you of your loved one. Finish a project your loved one was working on. Continue to work towards a cause your loved one was involved with. Tell a story about your loved one to a stranger. We love when grievers help other grievers. How did you honor and remember them. It will be four years tomorrow. That was after a three -year battle with lung cancer. It was me, my mom and dad and my brother. There were and still are issues with my brother and soon after my Dad died the relationship between me and my mother fractured. Like you the crisp air and changing colors of the trees along with the Jewish holidays get the ball rolling for me. This past week has been particularly difficult. I spent time with her the day after that and got the call on Halloween morning that she had passed. And all of a sudden I had an anxiety attack. And then I realized that the past three anniversaries I had spent at work. I would do my job, but i am lucky that I have the kind of job that I could post on Facebook and cry in my office. Come home, light a candle, have a glass of wine and sing his favorite karaoke songs. I guess I will prepare for the funeral on Sunday. I will take a moment to be grateful. Thank you so much just for the opportunity to post something and get the feelings out. So exhausted and hoping I sleep. But, I am sure I will be reading your posts tomorrow. There is still the hell of all of the holidays……. Peace and light to you and all of your readers. Your website has been incredibly helpful. I like the no nonsense way the articles are written. We lost our Aysha girl 5 years ago today to suicide at the age of 17. This anniversary is particularly hard. It seems unfathomable that she has been gone that long and I wonder how we have been able to go on. But we are forever different and this has become a part of who we are, just as she was. He was on new medicine, and actually went for a walk at the track because he was feeling so good. Exactly one year ago, I was so optimistic of the future and living in this bubble of never having suffered an unexpected death of an immediate family member. On October 10, 2017 between 730-745am I received a phone call that changed my very existence forever. I looked down at my phone at the red light on my way to work, to see my mom calling. How could my 33 year old brother really be dead. I thought I would die when I got that call. I did not see any way to live without my brother. I still google looking for encouragement regularly, but the pain now really is more bearable than what I felt a year ago. I am learning it really is a process and with time the stabbing knife eases its grasp. No I will never talk to my brother again, but just look how he has manipulated a storm into giving me a day off tomorrow for his death anniversary. I know his spirit is with me, and somehow life with continue forward. It was alcohol made me forget the social allowances and allowed me to remember. Well, for me, alcohol brought to surface some of the memories I had forgotten. Talking with a buzz was much easier to open the hatch. The people around me know know about my mother and how I feel. Now, I take these unfortunate days and make the best. I call my grandma, i speak to people who feel the same loss and like about how I fiddle with my shirt in uncomfortable situations just like my mom did. I make her favorite dish, I look through her purse with old grocery receipts, pictures, and chapstick in it. Being reminded how human she was and how much she loved siblings and I. It took me over 15 years to realize what I was doing was only toxic for myself. We are all just pawns in the universe and we should be thankful that we had our parents for as long as we did. They helped mold us into who we are. Thank you for sharing this post. Today is the first anniversary since my mom past away. I looked at old pictures, listened to a voice memo recorded a week before she passed and ended everything by writing her a letter, updating her of everything that happened in the last year, from her funeral to today. It is hard for me to express my feelings, but writing the letter allowed me to organize my thoughts and gave a clear passage to my grief and sadness. I was scared of looking at old pictures and the pictures I took the day she passed, to be depressed again. After I did my new ritual, I felt closer to her. I miss her so much, being an only child too. I will probably bake her favourite cake for her birthday. My wife lost her mom 1 year ago today. Today our plan is to park a weekend get away bag, and just go. Go any place or direction but towards the grave site. Has anyone come up with a more pleasant phrase. Somehow these words bring comfort. Another thought is to have my family pick out special fake flowers, one for each. And then to use sharpies and write a message to my Dad on the underside of each flower petal. Then place it on his gravestone. You can buy a sealer spray in any craft store to preserve the same. This idea could be done on any special day like a b-day etc. It is very interested to see a few different posts of parents whose child has died on May 3. Today has not been as bad as the last two weeks. I think the anticipation hurts more than the actually day. Maybe seeing May 3 is a confirmation that everything is ok. She was an absolutely wonderful, kind person who would help anyone. She worked so hard to raise 6 kids, run a homework full time and deal with my dad and take care of my ill gma who lived with us for 10+ yrs. And losing my own mother has committed me even more to help those in need. I can speak from personal experience on losing a close loved one. She had her last exacerbation of copd in July 2017. I asked her mom what do you want done. And she wanted them to save her. Her first and only great grandchild was expected in 2 weeks. She wanted to see him and have more time with us. I knew as a hospice nurse her days were numbered. I what to do for your one year anniversary to believe she had more time and maybe just maybe couple more yrs. Christmas was amazing and we had to have it at the nursing home where she was staying while my siblings who lived with her were being trained on taking care of her. They were almost ready to send her home when she passed. It was a matter of maybe couple weeks. She just stopped breathing one morning before my brother got there. The pain I feel is indescribable. It was helpful to read others stories here about their loss of their wonderful loved ones too. But the loss we feel never will pass. We will just learn to live with it and move forward in our lives. They will always be with us and they will continue to live thru us thru our love and our memories. My children and I are going to make a scrap book called memories of maw. And share pics and diff stories of good times with her. I feel this is therapeutic for all of us. And a way to not forget precious stories and memories about her. We will share special memories, her favorite sayings, food, and love on each other. She is missed beyond measure but lives on through each of my siblings, our children and myself. Our loss was devastating but boy am I thankful to continue learning from her many lessons. I cherish her with every fiber of my being. God speed each and everyone in this club I wish we did not have to be apart of. We had the ashes of my father for a while, with no great ideas what to do with them. It was amazing and such a nice way to let him go, to do something nice with the ashes — and has helped me and the family move on a little. Not a day goes by that I dont struggle to hide my pain for my other 2 kids. She just lost her father October 11th…3 days after my sons 10th birthday. We have kept each other strong through many hard days. Life will never be the same without him here with us. We find some peace knowing he has his dad with him now. But the pain for us is still so fresh. I am not sure what to do for his anniversary. In a way I want to be alone amd just cry all day. But I know thats not what he would want. I have about 5 weeks to figure it out. In 8 months, Oct 7th, will be the day my mother passed 16 years ago as well. They both past of 2 different cancers 16 years ago, 8 months apart. Usually July 1st is the hardest day of the year, their anniversary. As I look back on 16 without my parents I wonder to myself how I ever made it. I can see my mother laughing at me now, she had an incredible sense of humor. Losing both mom and dad in 8 months, you can imagine what the first 2 years were like. But something happened, I started seeing my parents differently. A smile would come to my face. Some days you deal with it better than others. I am grateful for all they taught me and grateful for keeping them close when it was the hardest to enough them this close without the sadness. However, at 50 the wisdom I have come to embrace is the closeness with them after the initial grieving process. Allow yourself to grief Allow yourself to cry Allow yourself to let your lost loved ones live through you Allow yourself closeness with them again…. These posts have really helped me. I lost my mom February 20, 2017. I want to honor her, but I also want to pretend like she is still here. The pain of not having her is so much more painful then I could ever imagine. I have never wanted to go back in time until now. I feel like an orphan even though I am a grown woman. When I think of all the difficult times my mom had before she passed away, I get so sad and frustrated. She deserved a fun and full life. I pray she is in heaven as happy as can be. I love and miss her more then I could ever express. I hope everyone that has lost someone, feels thier love and presence. I was just reading through posts and saw yours. I lost my mom February 23, 2017, just 3 days after you lost yours. That day is coming soon and my heart is still aching. But I cried more in the past year than any other year since childhood. The pain is still real but I am managing a bit better one day at a time. Today went surprisingly well, I took off from work to spend the day reflecting and all, and it was good. Numb, in denial I guess you can say. She passed away December 21st, 2016. My mother and me were like sisters, we would talk to each other almost every day. My daughter is having a really hard time about it. She was super close to her also. She hated winter and she died the first day of winter. Her grandmother nanny died December 21 also years back. They were super, super close and I know she wants something to have of hers. All of grandmas clothes are gone. I just know this first year has sucked. Her Birthday was November 18th… I slept almost the whole day to keep from thinking about it or crying. Because of that experience December 21st is going to be super hard. To make things worse, we had her memorial the day after Christmas…. My main worry is helping my daughter through this. I wish I could make my daughter whole again. She wants something tangible for her to touch and feel that helps her be near grand ma. Honestly, it is probably something she will cherish for the rest of her life. My mother died unexpectedly as well at 56 on Dec 2, 2016, and I was 31. I used to sleep with the angel statue I have with her ashes in it. I have learned not to fight the grief. Your body needs to get it out. On her birthday I made her favorite meal. Hi Jennifer, My father, at the young age of 49 passed away last year on December 20th, 2016. I was 17 at the time, now 18, and still have a hard time dealing with the loss of such an influential man in my life. My mother is now left with my 3 siblings and I, to struggle through the bad days and cherish the happy ones. She asked for it with the obvious intent of having a piece of her grandmother with her. Having a younger brother around her age, my family and I did everything we could to ensure he felt loved, specifically choosing to give him my fathers university graduation ring. Best of luck finding strength this month. In two days, November 8th will mark one year since my mom died of colon cancer at only 58 years old. She was fighting for 18 months and I took care of her while she was in hospice at my aunts home. It was always her and me growing up and I still need her guidance, I have more growing up to do. I appreciate the ideas of what I can do to honor her. All I can hope for is to feel her with me more. I was widowed at age 34, left with two young kids. Have lost parents and only sibling since then. Have lost many friends and coworkers. We have God-given gifts to share with others…time spent in pity past a couple of years is time for professional grief counseling. No one enjoys being depressed. Granted, a tragic death is one harder to deal with than expected elderly parent but a loss is a loss. My boyfriend of 5 years died on June 24, 2017 which also happened to be his birthday in a car crash. However we live on opposite sides of the country because of work. At about 9am the security officer called me and when I went outside there was Omar with a single white rose in his hands and a big grin on his face. They drove 3 hours to come see me. On their way back home his friend crashed. I was so excited to see him that I forgot to remind him as usual to wear what to do for your one year anniversary seat belt. There was no one on the earth like him. We had plans to get married and start a family. All I can do that help me cope is looking back at photos and reminiscing on our memories. He was my best friend, comforter, doctor, my everything. Hi, I have a similar story to yours in that the love of life of ten years passed away suddenly on April 3, 2016. I know the pain your feeling and continue to feel the effects of grief everyday… some things that have helped me are reading books about grief, seeing a therapist who specializes in grief work, placing photos in my house of him I even carry a photo of him in my pocket book everywhere I go. Even though there are days where It hurts to look at his beautiful face in that frame. Grief is a nightmare but it is something we can survive. Honoring your boyfriend and allowing your self to feel the pain and devastation is the best advice I can give you. The pain will never go away but it will soften and at times it will return with full affect. I hope this post has helped you and hope it gives you the courage to hold on as you walk through your grief journey. I lost my Grandma on 11th September in 2016 by cancer when they found the cancer it was to late to treat her it was already spreading to the rest of her body and making her very ill. Life is what to do for your one year anniversary the same without her here by my side and supporting me on every decision i make. Thank you for your suggestions. Tomorrow will be six years since losing my husband. I have also lost my mom, dad, and brother. I think by doing something to honor him also helps me forgive myself. The guilt of the should what to do for your one year anniversary and could ofs seem to wash away, at least for that moment. Now just have to decide what to do this year. Today was the day that my mother got the phone call from the nursing home saying that my father had stopped breathing when they were bathing him and they had to call an ambulance to take him to the hospital. Later that day at the hospital, we had to make the agonizing decision as a family to withhold medications and just keep him comfortable with palliative care until he passed. My mother has had a very rough year without him and as a result has lost a lot of weight and went into a depression. I was thinking of maybe planting something in their backyard that will come back every year. He loved serving others in small ways. We figured that would be the best way to remember him. I lost my father in law two days after thanksgiving 2016 my daughter had our first grandson on April 8th and my dad died the day before his sons 37th birthday. Life keeps going on and I thought after my only child died in sleep,that it should all stop. I can feel your pain, after I read the bottom of your page. Your faith in God and his son Jesus is very important. If your brother was suppose to be here, God would see to that. Living your life with a broken heart is something that only you know the pain. And if you ask him in Jesus name,he can help you carry on and when time on earth is over, you get to see him again. They may have others that might want to give them things to sell also. If you would like to contact me, please do so. On Monday it will be one month that my mother became an angel. She left us after a three and a half year battle with pancreatic cancer. I find that my days are getting harder instead of easier. My family and I have tried to do the things she would normally do Thankgiving. Her favorite holiday was Christmas so I set up a little tree. Her one month is Monday and I am planning on letting balloons go. Thank you so much for this blog. It was 4 years this September since I lost our 23 year old son very suddenly. Finally i felt like celebrating his life on his anniversary with my husband and our 4 children. We planned ahead — I made all his favourite dishes, we watched old home videos, we shared funny stories and made a toast to our son between us. I set up the table and chairs to include him in the celebrations and it really felt like he was there with us. The day was beautiful however the grief hit me strongly a day after between his anniversary and his birthday 3 weeks later. This year I accepted them as just how things will be always knowing September will always be so very emotional for me. That is definitely an improvement on 2015 where the last 6 months of the year were terrible and the two years prior when every day was so very painful. Vicki, thanks for sharing this. My son was murdered during a burglary of his home while he slept in bed. He was 27 yrs old and his birthday was 3 weeks later as well. I am having a really rough week this week as it is now one year since I last saw him, saw his smile and got to hug him while he was alive. My name is Jo, and I lost my twin sister 14 years ago. Even though life moves on and so many thanks have changed, I have always struggled with the anniversary of her death. The date looms from about the month before and I usually end up in a flood of tears at some point. I spoke to my local doctor who suggested trying Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. I wanted to try that but something that was specific to grief. Im not saying that it will help everyone, but I have always struggled around the anniversary of her death and our birthday which I celebrate without her now. Hi Kira, thanks for your message. So sorry to hear about your twin. On the anniversary day 15th MayI will still fall into a black hole of grief again reliving the day she past away in my head. The book I used is stored away now in boxes as I am decorating at home, but I will dig it out for you and let you know the details. I wish I could go to sleep on September 10 and wake up September 12. Barring that possibility, I listen to the names reading. It is our 24th birthday coming up on the 31st of august. I am more or less, dreading this day. Every year we have always celebrated together, so I have no idea how I am supposed to celebrate this day — when all I feel is such a terrible, deep sadness and loss of his presence. I have never felt so much pain, lonliness and a loss for words at how to speak of this amazing human. If you have any ideas or tips of what to do on this day coming up — I will welcome them warmly. Reading this post helped me realise I am not alone… But I still feel completely lost at what to do, to prepare for this day. Hello, Well, this is the hardest pain that I have ever felt. My mom pasted on June 29 of 2016- her services was July 8th, 90 days before my wedding. Words can not describe the pain. The motherless club was one that I knew that I would join some day but not this soon and not before my wedding. I had kept my mom clueless about the wedding because I wanted to surprise her and see her face when she saw the venue and decorations. She did have a chance to see my dress and she really liked it. She was so happy for me and I was secretly going to do something special at the wedding- now I can barely think straight. My fiancé is trying his best to be there and do the rest of the planning, We were suppose to send out our wedding invitations the day of my mother service. My sister was planning my bridal shower, all of this seems so pointless and trivial. I have a voice mail from my mom that I listen to. I must admit that I am angry at God for taking my mom. I feel like the world does not have the same color and that food taste different. On the other hand we celebrate his birthday every year with a gathering at his favorite pub with cousins uncles aunts and friends. This was the 9th anniversary and it has become a joyful gathering where we start planning for our summer vacation as an extended family. His birthday will be 2 weeks later so the month of July is hard for me and our kids. I have planted a beautiful little tree in his honor of his birthday, released balloons with the family 1 for each year of his life. My son built a bench to sit by the tree for fathers day, so we have done many of the things already but, as I sat and read through the suggestions of things to do to commemorate his memory I found something that is very fitting, he was always very neat and kept all his things in order his side of the closet was always perfect, me not so much. I really felt bad about that later, when he was gone and my part of the closet was still a mess. She was so strong and so positive and life without her is what to do for your one year anniversary difficult. She was only 47, and should have had many more years, but her suffering is over and she is with God. I struggle to keep positive for her children and do the best I can, although I know I will never measure up to her. I am trying to plan something to celebrate her life and appreciate all the suggestions I can get. Sophia, I lost my mom a year ago today too. I shared the fact that this was the one year anniversary with some of my coworkers just to acknowledge it in some way. My birthday is March 2, that is the day one year ago that the doctors lost my father but were able to revive him. I spent my entire birthday at the hospital completely lost. That was the day I was told his body was deteriorating and we needed to start saying our good byes. March 3, 2016 was the day my father earned his angel wings. The day my father watched me take my first breath, exactly 34 years later I watched him taking some of his last breaths of air. I will be honest, I just want to lock my self in my room have a tantrum all by myself. I think the world should stop just so I can grieve. To me, there is nothing to celebrate. Sophia, your post struck a chord with me. I had my first birthday without my lovely Dad last May. I had friends who tried to tell me I had to celebrate my birthday but, like you, there is nothing to celebrate. He was not an easy man to have as a father — exacting, smart, funny yet not one to easily share his feelings. I believe I was special to him and he sure was a special man to me. He was kind but quiet about it, he was giving what to do for your one year anniversary would never openly acknowledge it. At his wake, I heard literally a hundred stories about how my father helped in one way or another. He would make fun of my trusting and giving nature but after hearing these stories, I realize he was more trusting and giving than I have ever been. My father…measure twice, cut once. Be kind but never overly ingratiating. Until the last six weeks of his life, he was not especially giving of his love in an open way except with animals. What is the saying…the true measure of a man is how he treats those less fortunate and animals. I thank this man, this stranger, for celebrating and recognizing the greatness of my father. He was and will forever be a hero in my eyes. He was special to me, my mother, my siblings, my animals and to so many others. I miss him every day but as I read other posts, I am also extremely grateful that we had in him in our lives for as long as we did — so many others have lost someone special way too soon. I feel blessed for having him as a father, a teacher and a guiding force in what to do for your one year anniversary life. Thank you for this posting of ideas. I am wanting to do something for him, for me, his siblings for a remembrance. Hunting, fishing, and amateur radio. I am going to take some old antlers he used for rattling, and a little fishing pole and find a way to secure them. As a hunter, he was very adamantly against trophy hunting and was more concerned about filling our freezer. Luckily, where he is at is pretty isolated so very little chance of vandelism. He died two days after his birthday, so I want to have a get together for his birthday with his what to do for your one year anniversary foods and desserts. When we gather, it will be around a fire pit and it will be easier for his family to think on and remember all the good things they did together. My wife Jo suddenly and unexpectedly passed away13 weeks ago. In March we will be married 46 years. Along with all this I am currently in the hospital with pneumonia and have been for a week now. The other day I was sitting in my hospital room thinking about my soul mate I recently lost. I was startled when I heard music coming from the hallway. I walked to the doorway and there was this lady playing a harp for the room across the hall. I listened my eyes tearing up until she was finished, it was beautiful. I explained to her about my wife and how I thought my wife may have sent her to me. She asked if I would like her to play something for me and I said yes please. She what to do for your one year anniversary took a sheet of music from the many she had and began to play. Before she was finished I recognized the song and began to shake uncontrollably. We were seniors in high school and associated ourselves with the movie. The movie came out October 8, 1968. We went on a date to see it that Friday which was October 11, 1968. My wife passed away on October 11, 2015. She sent me a sign and connected our beginning together and the end of us in this world. Needless to say, I thanked the lady, went back in my hospital room and cried for an hour. Monday 4 January will mark the one-year passing of my best friend, my mom. However, all of the emotions of the past week have left me feeling exhausted and overwhelmed…now a day trip seems too much to manage. However, the thought of just staying home is causing my anxiety to ramp up. I want desperately to acknowledge her that day—and be away from here—but am at a loss as to how to do that. Also, her 75th birthday is three weeks later, on the 25th. I started it to remember my Mom by doing kid things for others in her memory. Each Mothers Day, birthday or other anniversary I try to do little acts of kindness or remembering. Sometimes I leave bubbles in the park for kids, on the 4th of July I took lighted balloons and glow sticks and left them in baskets for people to take and enjoy-in memory of fun times I had with my mom or my brother who also passed away. It was awesome to see lighted balloons all over the park at night. Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of my mothers passing from cancer. My sisters, grandma, and I were around her holding her hand when she took her last breath. My sisters and I plan on making waffles in the morning, it was a tradition mom did on the weekends. We also plan on having a twilight marathon because she loved to do that. We also plan on digging out a bunch of old photos and making photo albums together. So this is the most we can all handle doing. She was the glue to our family. Christians believe in eternal life and others have other beliefs about life after death. Stay focused on what your loved ones would expect you to achieve in life and go for it in that way you show gratitude to the deceased although absent in body. There is an end for everything and we must learn to accept reality and move on with our lives. Grief is not about believing in an afterlife or not, it is about acknowledging the pain of wanting to be with someone who is no longer with us. You seem to assume grief is a bad thing, when I would suggest it is not- when we have loved someone deeply continuing to remember them, even when it is sad at moments, is not a problem. The past is an important part of the present and the future- we dont move on, we move forward with a continued memory of and connection to our loved one. I found your website as I was looking for some meaningful way to recognize the monthly anniversaries a year seems way to far away right now; just getting through each day is still a huge challenge. I like the idea of candle lighting and think that I will start this monthly tradition with my husband and our two boys. Thank you so much for sharing your ideas. Tuesday is the ninth anniversary of the loss of my husband. These are some of the things we have done to celebrate his life. Need some more hands on ideas. Not sure if you saw this post about preserving handwriting, but it has some interesting ideas — We also have a lot of posts about using photography. Are you familiar with Dear Photograph. Tomorrow will be the 1st anniversary if my husbands death. And next week would have been the 28th wedding anniversary for my husband and me. So October pretty much stinks. My friends wanted me to spend the day with them. Our kids are all grown and live in other states. Am I wrong for wanting to be alone. You need to do what feels right for you. If you communicate that with your friends hopefully they will understand. Your comment made me think of a post I wrote a while back that you might appreciate. You decided to spend the day in the way that you did because it allowed you to be close to his memory and to spend time in reflection. You know your own limitations and what would you find most meaningful and fulfilling. I absolutely think you should stick to your plan and whatever you find comfort in, you can catch up with your friends the next day. I have been reading all of the posts and my heart goes out to everyone. The ones who what to do for your one year anniversary lost children, my heart aches for you. I lost both of my parents this past December in 2014, 19 days apart. My mom had Alzheimers and my dad passed 19 days later of a broken heart. Every one has started talking about the holidays will be here before long and I find myself tearing up. My mom was buried the day before my birthday and my dad the day before Christmas Eve. Last Christmas I was just numb. Trudy, my heart breaks for you. I am so, so sorry for your loss. The fact that you want to is a massive achievement. Maybe around Christmas time you could do something your parents would love. Maybe a family ritual you did every year. This is your journey so you need to do what is right for you. He often went camping with his uncle. He was always the first to ask to start a fire in the fireplace, as soon as the season called for it. And honestly, he got it from me. My Daughter Danielle ,22, passed away suddenly,unnecessarily,and to my dis-belief and horror…I burst through her bedroom door,and found her on her bed,but it was too late,this was on 8-3-15…I screamed call 911 to my Mom and tried C. At 30 day mark,I took my Mother who lives here,too and we went to our 1st Grief Group,called The Compassionate Friends…they are a Nation Wide group and if anyone reads this would like to go to a meeting in their area,you may look them up on your computer,for one in your area…. October 26, 2013 was the day my world forever changed, when my mom left this world and left me all alone not really, but it feels like it sometimes. I, with you, will also always relate the fall with her passing and will never enjoy it like I used to. My boyfriend, Rey passed away on October 29, 2014. He was my best friend, my first boyfriend, my first kiss, and he is also the father of our son Joaquin. I just want our son to always remember his father and the love he had for him. He was 21 months old when his dad passed and even though Joaquin may not what to do for your one year anniversary comprehend the idea of Rey being gone forever it motivates me to ensure he understands his father loved him. He still points at the moon and tell her good night like his Dada used to tell him to do. Thank you ladies for your support, I was too depressed before to care enough to find a way to cope. But with his 1 year anniversary I hate that word. Hi, I am coming up for the first anniversary of losing my lovely Dad on 8th September a date that is ingrained into my brain. I what to do for your one year anniversary remember every minute detail from that day when I got the call to say he was gone. I had spoken to Dad that morning and he was fine. Apart from still not believing Dad has gone and feeling like the wind is knocked out me; I am quite snappy, acting completely irrationally and the dreams about my Dad are so vivid — more vivid than before. I like the suggestions mentioned in the blog and any others would be welcome. As of August 19th 2015, my best friend, Matthew, will have been gone for 12 years. That kid probably had more baseball cards and new more about his favorite teams the Chicago Cubs and Milwaukee Brewers than some long time collectors I know. Then, I revamp my efforts, my promises to him and myself, 1. I will try to live the way he would have wanted me to 3. I will remember the joy more than the pain 4. In short, I will do all I can, in any and all small ways I can, to help create a world in which a child in the same situation will not only be expected to live beyond 7 yrs, but to adulthood and beyond. My mother passed away on June 16th 2015 from cancer. We will be gathering today as a family to have a cake for our mother in her honour. She would have been 56yrs old, I cry everyday and this is the first time I am talking to someone about this. My boss at work gave me this website to help me through work. I am amazed on the posts and replies. I love you mum always and forever. Hi Jason, I read your post what to do for your one year anniversary morning with tears in my eyes. You will be amazed at the strength you will find to keep going and I promise you will find the strength. I have found a lot of comfort in this site since I lost my lovely Dad last year. Give yourself time and grieve at your own pace. Keep talking about your Mum to your loved ones. She is still with you and always will be. I am writing to you because your post hit me very hard and also slightly concerned me. Please hear me out… My wife and I have been through this on many different occasions. I know how horrible this sounds, but your husband may not need to grieve openly. He may not want to grieve at all. Guys must prioritize their feelings. If they do not, it can become very dangerous. While women are generally powerful floods of emotion capable of experiencing and managing a wide range of feelings all at once, many men compartmentalize everything. We must keep our best feelings on the forefront so that they will be the emotions that directly affect everything we do. If we dwell on sorrow, our lives will be driven by sorrow. Because of this, many of us tend to take these terrible things and lock them away. Sometimes, when we are all alone, we may pull out the little box, open it up, and let a few tears fall. Then we close it, put the lock back on, and put it back on its shelf. I am begging you not to try to push your husband to open up. If he does it on his own, then he is ready for it and will be able to control it… But, I fear, if you succeed in convincing him to grieve in such an outward manner, you may start him on a downward spiral of anger, hate, fear and other intense emotions that guys are not designed to handle in such magnitude. This could cause severe problems for your family. He will deal with it in the way that is best for him. Adam, thanks for taking the time to comment. You and Brandy get at such a difficult topic when grieving, which is how we grieve together. These can be difficult waters to negotiate, especially when everyone is struggling moe than usual because of their grief. This post discusses and may be useful. Adam… Thank you for the very insightful post you wrote. Two years ago April 1st, 2014 my daughter, her husband, myself and her grandfather experienced the same type of loss. I was there with my daughter and son in law when my dear grandson was born. He lived for 1 hour and 2 minutes and then he was taken from us. As far as the advice you gave I believe you were spot on because I have experienced the same type of reaction… But with my daughter. Everyone does grieve in a different way and there are support groups out there that can help you deal with all the emotions that come from a loss. A loss of any type is hard, but a loss of a child is gut wrenching… It is not the natural order of how things are meant to be. Because my daughter is dealing with it in a different way than I am I am in a support group so I can be with other people that are grieving the same way i am. I hope the situation gets easier with time. Hi, I have only just found this blog via Pinterest thank you Pinterest. I think you are right in what you say with regard to reconciling or making peace with what happened. Im not entirely sure how to do that and Im interested in researching ways of managing the painful memories and how I can try and have some control over them. It is difficult avoid to bad dreams, as we have no control over those — but the daytime flashbacks is something that maybe I can try and work on. Anyway, its something to think about. Thank you for putting this blog together… My twin sister has been gone 13 years this week. She died just before our 32nd birthday of cancer. Life has changed so much since she left us. The emotions around her anniversary always creep up on me, no matter how much I try to prepare myself for it every year. It comes over me like a huge wave of emotion, which includes nightmares when I sleep and flashbacks during the day of her final weeks of this brutal disease. I guess my question is, why does my brain only allow me to remember the horror. Nicola had a wonderful life until her breast cancer came. Time is a great healer I really believe that…. My heart aches for her everyday. Most of her short life was spent in and out of hospitals for weekly periods at a time. Most of the time just her and I and I find it a struggle to cope with life without her now. I went from her constantly by my side to nothingness. I remember it clear as day and it just rips me apart. Oh Christina, I can hear in your words how painful what to do for your one year anniversary grief is on a daily basis. I encourage you to go extremely easy on yourself as the year mark of her death approaches. What do you need to do to get through the day. How can you take care of yourself. Is there a small way you want to spend time in quiet reflection with her memory or honor her. To the extent that you can, surround yourself with whatever you find comforting. I think loss can not be defined by a title ie Mother, Father, brother, friend, etc but rather is based on the relationship you had with that person, which could even be your next door neighbor. I appreciate your ideas above. Thank you for hosting a site that shows we are not alone. Sunday, April 19, 2015 will be 8 years that my mother passed away. I was 12 years old at the time. At the time it was very hard for me to process and make sense of her loss. Up until recently I am 20 years old now I am just discovering the impact that had on my emotional well-being. However, with the help of friends and family I have always felt loved and never alone. Going through that experience, I became angry and doubted most religions because of that anger. I was looking for a way to remember my mother and came across this list and I plan on doing a few of these things on Sunday. I wanted to thank the author of this list, it has given me new ways to honor my mothers life and the life she has given me. I was 18 when I lost my dad and I found huge comfort in Buddhism. I was a philosophy major in college and I was not interested on counseling or support groups, but Buddhist philosophy helped me so much. Every year on his Death anniversary we buy balloons and write a note to him. We go in our back yard and let them go to Heaven after each one of us says something to him outloud. We watch the balloons till they are out of our sight. In the beginning I could barely get the words out without sobbing but now I am able to do it still makes me feel like I have a knife in my heart but I get my words out to my son. On his first birthday after he had passed he would have been 22 I had a birthday party for him with food and a cake and all of his closest friends at our house. I had pictures out of him and we all ate, drank and shared stores of Dean. It seemed to be a comfort for his friends and our family as well. I also try to buy a plant on his death anniversary and plant it in our yard every year. All of this brings me comfort and some peace. We were very tight and had spent the whole day together. He was so healthy and happy and truly loved life. Everyone who knew him, loved him so much. He was the only one that died in the car wreck. I have 2 daughters and I know that they are in pain as well, we talk about him and all of his funny ways. Everyone has so many ideas and suggestions for it, but nothing feels right. I want to honor him and let him know that I am alright at the same time. There are days that are unbearable still. If he were here, he would know just what I should do and say to be ok, and I keep trying to think like him and find his strength……. I go to work and do what I am supposed to do…. How am I going to get thru that day. I do want to celebrate his life, but his death is still so raw. I think the first thing you should do is acknowledge that the day might be really hard and you might feel really awful. Your grief is a reflection of your love for your son and in a way you are honoring him by grieving him. Over time it will get easier to find the perfect way to honor his memory and to do things that feel more constructive. For this year, what is realistic. Are you the type of person who prefers to be alone on tough days or surrounded by others. Maybe this year you honor him by spending the day privately or with your kids doing something small. You could visit a place where you feel close to him or make his favorite dish for dinner, go through old photos, or just watch movies together. Perhaps you have a small group your daughters. This year is going to be the hardest one to get through, so go easy on yourself. These ideas make me feel I shoulddo something good to make him happy. God bless u all with your losses. We are quickly approaching the 1 year anniversary of my husbands death. I have known all along that I did not want to be home when this date arrived, so several months ago I sat down with our kids and asked them what they wanted to do. We decided on a destination and so we will spend the week of their Dads passing in a place that we had always planned to go as a family. We will be joined on this adventure we always called our yearly excursions to our favorite mountain town adventures by a couple who is closer to us than our families. They have been by our side during every major event our entire married life wedding, births, hospital stays and death so I invited them to share in this one too. In the back of my mind I am considering making this a yearly experience, every year during this specific week we spend time as a family, having a new adventure. To me that seems like a nice tribute to the man I love and a good way to deal with him not being here to join us. There are many other things I would like to do to honor his memory but those will come with time. Thank you so much, this really helped me. Today is the first year anniversary of my moms death. I am now 16 and birthdays, holidays, etc. I mourned on my own, using a lot of your suggestions. I am really scared that I will forget my memories of my time with my mom, any suggestions. Also, do you think it would be okay to split up her ashes when we spread them. Today is my only son, Jr, 2nd birthday out of 4 kids if he hadnt been still born at full term. My 2 older kids have had a hard time dealing with their grief and my husband has been worse. His grief or lack of has had a horrible effect upon the rest of us. What to do for your one year anniversary daughters and I like to talk about Jr every once in a while when something reminds us of him. So we have learned to respect hes not ready to openly talk about him. Many times this makes me as a mom very worried about my daughters and how not making their brother apart of our life daily if necessary that they will never fully release and grieve properly. I do not want this for our kids. My mom made a specific point to help us last year while my daughters and i were visiting by giving us balloons to write on and release and celebrating his birthday with a small cake. The girls seemed so free at that time to talk and ask questions. I wish we could do this or something like it every year, but with my husband. I know its too late for advice for today, but if anyone has any suggestions for us thru out the year instead of only one day out the year that would be much aappreciated. My beloved friend lorna died 7th march last year. She was diagnosed with cancer three weeks previously but had decided not to tell anyone except her parents and husband as she had been told she had 9 months to live. When her husband called me with the news she had passed I was in shock. I was so angrey with cancer, I still am. How dare cancer take my friend of 35 years. We grew up, went through school, holidays together, weddings births of our kids etc etc. She was cremated and her ashes have not been scattered yet and I live 3 hours from her husband and so I need suggestions what to do on the anniversary. Hi Eleanor — I just found your wonderful site. I am a trauma therapist and as you can imagine I work with folks everyday who have experienced many kinds of grief. I only joined your site a couple of days ago and already have found so much useful. I really appreciated how to get through holidays. Anyway, thanks for hosting such a remarkable site. I am sure to suggest the site to many. Thank you for this list and everyone for your suggestions. For her birthday I with help did a random act of kindness for each year of her life and invited others to join in. It what to do for your one year anniversary out to be a wonderful day of celebration. It kind of exhausts me to think about it. The support of family and close friends has been phenomenal. Despite it all, as I approach the first anniversary, I am feeling lost as what to do for your one year anniversary how I will remember, honor, and celebrate 365 days without my Mother. I still carry my grief with me. My grief is made of irreparable loss, of pain, of memories flashing lights of Red Cross ambulance I still got the same effect on me. Now I know why you always asked what to do for your one year anniversary to be strong… because you know that one day I would need the strength to bear your loss. My mother will have no grandchildren either. It takes a lot of faith in God and daily efforts to become closer to God to seek peace and grace to continue each day. I get up and read it first thing and thank God for what I do have. I know how you feel being motherless. March 17 will be my mom first death anniversary…Her hospitalization and death has been one of the most painful times in my life. Words cannot express how much she means to me. She taught me so much by witnessing unconditional love, and her beautiful example of enduring strength in suffering. Her faith in God was unshakeable, and her sense of hope undiminishing. My 3 year old daughter and his 3 year old son. My husband and I are in the processing of buying a bigger home so we can start having my niece and nephew over to stay. I would love a way of honoring my brother in my home do you have any ideas. He was a big hunter and a sherriffs officer. Next week, January 29, 2015 will be one year since I lost my father to cancer. He left this world just a couple months away from my high school graduation. Him being there would be my greatest accomplishment ever. He saw me in spirit but I wish he was there in human. My mother has been strong too, being on dialysis three times a week and still raising myself and my 6 year old nephew. Me and my older brother do our best to provide for our mother on whatever she needs and wants. I take her out on road trips, buy her favorite foods and talk about all the memories we had with my dad. Some tears will be shed yes, but if I just keep praying and asking God for guidence and wisdom, I know for a fact he is smiling down on us. Shortly after Kaitlin died I bought a helium tank an balloons at Wal-Mart, her best friend and I would fill them up and than write letters to her in heaven, sending them up to her. On what would have been her 16th birthday I bought a couple of the big mylar balloons took a sharpie pen and filled them front and back and let them go, letters to heaven, to my girl who I had so many things I still wanted to say to her, so I did, and still do. Every birthday and on the day she went home to God I send my precious angel letters to heaven and I figure she floats around up there reading them knowing that she still is and always be the best part of my life, always and forever my Kaitlin Lee. I just stumbled on this blog, and it really could not have come at a better time. I love the balloon release idea and I may just invite some close friends over to reminisce about my angel. I bought a gold urn necklace memorialurnjewelry. Thanks for the support and the shared experiences. Its almost a year since I lost my Mom and I am still heavily greiving. You lose everything you had together and everything you were suppose to have. The hardest part is that my daughter, who adored her Grandma, was only two years and a few months old. And I am also dealing with the reasons why she was sick in the first place. My Mother deserves to be memorialized in a great meaningful way. Which is how I ended up on this site. Im thinking a candle vigil would be really nice along with some words about her. Anyway, thankyou for putting the effort and time in trying to help others cope. I really love a lot of the suggestions. Today is the one anniversary since my mom passed on December 2, 2013. Seeing this post and responses makes feel less alone. My husband is working all day. Hoping that writing it down on an online forum can make it all go away. You are all wonderful and blessed people. First of all I must ask you if you are having thoughts of giving up, or if you feel like there is no reason to live, to please seek immediate help. When your in such deep pain it is difficult to see a reason to live; but I promise you this deep deep pain will pass and the same grievers who have said they once felt such desperate despair also say that after making it through the darkness things did become easier. It will never be the same and you will always grieve, but year by year these anniversaries become easier to handle and hopefully in time those memories that are so extremely painful right now might bring you some comfort and help you to continue your relationship with Lilo. We are always here to do what we can to help locate resources in your local community. Please reach out to us if you need assistance. On the one year anniversary I did what we always used to do, go to dunkin donuts where I felt like he was right there with me. After my best friend and I went to a hockey game where we saved a spot for him. I stumbled on to it while being undecided about visiting my friends grave on his birthday or anniversary. He pasted away to suicide this past summer which it still hasnt unbelievable to me. I dont think any one knew what was going on and I miss him like a dear brother. I plan on using some of ur ideas like the candle and flowers. We are having a birthday party for him at his favorite ice cream parlor. On the anniversary of his death, my grandchildren come over to my house. We do a candlelight ceremony and then release balloons with notes to him. Of my husbands first date came. One my husband attended as a boy. I also had a party and raised money for the next three years for a local fund given to patients undergoing, radiation and chemo treatments in their battle against this cancer. This past year ,Oct 14,2014, hurt so much more. Maybe it is just becoming more real, and permanent. A bigger party scheduled for same fund for year 5. We started a blog as soon after the death of my mom as we could. My daughter actually started it. It is a great read if I do say so myself. We have not added much to it at all, I feel that there are things that could be added now though. We are coming up on the one year anniversary. Loved your ideas, we had done a lot of them already, but there are a lot of great thing there. Just last week was the first anniversary of the loss of one of my longest dearest friends, and next February will be the first anniversary of my daughters accident and death. For my friend, I spent the day remembering him. Thank you for these, I like to plan ahead, I will be getting my first tattoo and probably only that day. I appreciate some of the other ideas that readers have posted as well. September 13th my mom November 14th my dad. I put a small white pickett fence. It helped tremendously for me. An as time goes by I can stand back and say What a beautiful resting place. So whenever i come home at night as I drive by I always say goodnight. The list of ideas are fantastic, I will certainly be picking some to help me through, I am finding myself in floods of grief at the thought of getting through tomorrow 30th September, its 10 years since loosing mum. This anniversary seems more difficult. I feel guilty at all the achievements and things we have done and she has not been here with us to see for herself. My mom was 59, and she died from cancer. My mom was a 19-year cancer survivor but eventually her body could not fight anymore, even though her mind was fighting cancer until the very end. Thank you for your suggestions as to what to do on this day. I will visit her gravesite for sure. When I have children, I want my first-born girl to be named after her as well. Thank you for your help and support through your blog. I beg for all the prayers I can get. He died in his sleep of a heart condition we knew nothing about. I am thankful for the times I had with him, but for some reason, I am having a hard time today. Thanks for the interesting read. A year ago today my Uncle Pete passed away, he had aggressive brain cancer. He was a man of good manners, fantastic music taste, and most of all a great sense of humor. He left behind three young daughters, and my Aunt. We all to this day question why, such a beautiful loving person deserved this. But I believe he is still lingering spiritually. My dear nephew Jason was killed Aug. His mother and father my brother are broken. God Bless all the loved ones who suffer the loss of a loved one. This Monday will be one year since he left his body after a long and painful fight to stay alive. Trying to find ways to remember him with thoughts of happiness without letting the pain of missing him over come me. Tomorrow will be one year since my sister has passed away. I just want to curl up in a ball and hide under my blankets and cry. I lost both my parents last year, they died 5 weeks, to the day, apart. I was in a deep depression for 9 months and just recently starting to feel normal again. To make this anniversary worse, I was supposed to cook dinner with my boyfriend of 6 years but he decided he would rather have beers with a friend. I waited for him for an hour and 45 minutes before he finally called. Thank God for my friends, they stepped in when I needed them. My advice to anyone would be to surround yourself with those who love and support you. Oh Heidi, I am so sorry the anniversary was such a difficult day. I think people often underestimate that losing someone, especially after an illness, is a trauma. With that can come the common experience of reliving the loss and the pain of the illness. We have a lot of resources and ideas on this site for journaling, art and creative expression, etc than may help in processing some of these tough memories and emotions. If you find these do not get easier with time you may want to consider seeing a therapist who specializes in grief and trauma. Glad you found some comfort in the words here- hope you will continue to visit our site. Hello,today is the first year mark of when my boyfriends twin brother passed away. He took his own life, he had mental health problems and we have to believe it was the only way he could find peace. This entry has given me some lovely ideas to help them through. His parents are not good at talking about stuff and our not coping well. Today is the one year anniversary of my wonderful mothers passing. I was with her until her very last breath holding her hand. Her birthday is this month too. I have taken the day off work, lit some candles, bought a bouquet of flowers, put on her favorite music and eaten an ice cream for breakfast. I had been doing a little better i. I know there is no way around the pain of a day like today and I wanted to share with others who are also going through this incredibly painful first year. Thank you for having this blog site. I came across this post while looking to coping devices to help myself with the death- anniversary of my mom. Sometimes there will be days when I come home from school. And i open the door to my house even though shes never been at the new house for some reason i think shes gonna be there. These ideas really seem to help. The thing im going to do is write out all my feelings or whatever i want onto paper and then rip it up and put it into a ballon and let it go. Thank you very much for this post and to all those who commented as well. Kate, like what to do for your one year anniversary father, mine enjoyed being outdoors as well. So I think that will be one of the things I will do, as well as watch an old, black and white, favorite movie of his, and cook his famous and really yummy. Hi everyone, Hearing your stories is so inspiring to me. My father passed away four years ago tomorrow night. I find myself slacking in school work, not wanting to work and hardly wanting to socialize. But I can say with each year, it gets better. I slack a little less, talk more and do things to remember him. His ashes were spread in a river between two mountains in Montana. This year, I will be going to the mountain or hilltop and just spend some time with him there. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your son. I have to say, I have always liked benches. You can have a plaque engraved and put on the bench, so you could still what to do for your one year anniversary words to him. Please let us know what you decide to do. I lost my beautiful son last May 5th to suicide. He was 22, a good kind soul, had earned his Eagle Scout, was about to finish heating and havc school and was hoping to get married soon. We still have not decided on what we want to do for his grave. He has a small marker, but I want it removed. Still dirt covers his precious place of burial. I want to do something special…out of the ordinary for hom and am struggling with ideas…. Can any of you help me refine. They all have special meanings. I wholeheartedly agree the most important thing is us being together. I think the things you have thought of all sound good Booooo to the Condo association though. I actually think your casino idea sounds great, but understand your reservation about your brothers. If they think this is too celebratory then I think the tree is probably the way to go. Honestly though the only way to make a plan that works for everyone is to open up the lines of communications,perhaps starting an e-mail chain with everyone included or even a closed Facebook Group or good old fashioned phone call. Suggest a few ideas but emphasize that your flexible and the most important thing is finding a way for everyone to be together. You can have people bring photos or memories of her or just set these out on your own. I have five brothers and sisters so I know how tough it can sometimes be to get on the same page, especially when everyone grieves differently. Let me tell you, I tried to do something the year after my mother died and no one was really with me. This is one day of many what to do for your one year anniversary you want to honor her and remember her in a positive way, but it is hard and it is emotional and it takes time. I lost my mom as of a year ago on April 24th. Raising us from young children, on her own when my father passed away. She was the heart of our family and we all feel so broken from the loss. I struggle with how to honor her on the anniversary of her passing. I want to include my brothers if they choose to join me for the dayI am looking into having a tree planted in a local park. I inquired about planting a tree at her condo complex that she loved, but that was declined but the condo association. My mom enjoyed playing the slot machines, I thought about offering my brothers each a small amount of money so that we all might go gamble at a casino a few hours away on that day. I also thought about an Irish pub in the area what to do for your one year anniversary she always loved the Irish music, culture, etc. I worry that they may frown on these ideas because they may consider them to much like a celebration or fun. I feel like what is most important is that we are together as a family on this day. These were her wishes and I was priviledged to honor them. As the day gets closer, my heart grows heavier and heavier, a large part of me just wants to curl up and cry all day on that day, but as I am the eldest, I feel I have to find a way that will memorialize my mom in a more positive way and stay strong for my brothers. I already appreciate just having the chance to put this all down into words and welcome any suggestions or advice. Thank you Eleanor for the advise. The next few days are a reminder of how she spent the last few days of her life. I and my mama am a God loving and trusting person in him, but my moms death is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I feel as if I am making this about me. It is about memorializing my Mama. It is very normal to dread this day, the passage of time can sometimes make us feel even more sad because it puts more distance between us and the physical presence of our loved one. I would say go easy on yourself, take your time, but start to try and find some method of coping with these more difficult feelings. You could go on your own or together with your father and others who loved your mother, prepare yourself to feel emotional and accept that this is okay. This is just a thought, if you want to keep brainstorming ideas let me know what direction you were hoping to go in on the day. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your son, I lost my daughter Rachelle on March 23rd 2013 just shy of her 32nd birthday, I just celebrated the first anniversary of her passing, it was hard but I did things that reminded me of her, I donated to the local Humane Society in her name as she loved animals, I did a jigsaw puzzle that she enjoyed doing, I bought a helium balloon wrote her a poem and sent it to her. Her birthday is on April 8th and we will be celebrating at her favorite restaurant and sharing memories of her life. I understand the pain you are feeling the loss of a child is so painful. My thoughts and prayers are with you. My heart grieves for your loss. But I just want to tell you that I too will be grieving on April 8… It is the 1 year anniversary of my so, so, beloved Mama. I will be thinking of you and be keeping you in my prayers. I am fortunate and thankful to still have my father, who adored and Loved my mama his wife of over 50 years. Hey Ariana, I am so sorry to hear about the death of your great grandma. It depends what kind of thing you want to do. Since you mentioned your outfit, there are limitations of a uniform, but if you want to show off your pink you could consider pink headbands, nail polish, and socks, if that is allowed. This will sound crazy, but I have found a lot of comfort in baking in memory of people I have loved and lost. If there is some food that reminds you of your grandmother you could make it or, heck, buy it. There is a ton of great memorial jewelry that might be another great way to honor your grandmother. You also could do something in her memory. You could volunteer somewhere that your grandmother cared about. If you wanted to do something at school, you could do something in her memory to raise awareness about breast cancer. You could hand out breast cancer candy with information about breast cancer so people know about it. Someone I was very close to died of an overdose. I wanted to do something for overdose awareness day, and also really struggled with what to do. I wrote a post about it, which you can check out here in case there is any inspiration. Hope something here was at least a little helpful. She died from her 3rd time with breast cancer and I want to do something. Ps-she is not buried yet, she is cremated but her husband was in the navy before he died when I was a baby and she needs to be buried on top of him. I imagine you still have so many tough days and the anniversary can be one of the most real and raw no matter how many years have past. You have been through 2 of these anniversaries already, what have you done in the past. Have you ever tried any specific remembrances on this day. Are you feeling up to something like this this year or are you just trying to make it through. I know nothing can take away the pain of this day, but perhaps we can pinpoint what will bring you the most meaning and comfort. The third anniversary of what to do for your one year anniversary my 15 year old son to suicide is coming up, April 8th and I am having a really hard time having to face this day. Any advise on how to cope with this dreadful day Ann or others. My counselor just told me about this site. April 23 will be 10 years for my Dad, August was 12 for my Mom and i still have problems with their loss everyday. I wailed crying in such a cathartic way that I felt it was a sure sign of comfort from her. The next morning I checked my Twitter + only one new follow had followed me for that entire day. Wow Renee, that does seem like more than a coincidence. Anyway, thanks for your comment…that gives me chills as well. My mothers name was Evelyn, and I was blown away by the mere coincidence of seeing her name flash before me in print that I truly believe it was some sort of sign. Our thoughts are with you tomorrow Sunday. I am sure you have missed her quite a lot over this last year. It sounds like you have a pretty good plan for the anniversary and I hope the day is one of peace. Thank you for this post and for the community. This time last year I spent 5 weeks at her home caring for her until she died. We filled the house with daffodils for her birthday because that was her favorite flower, so I have some on the table. On April 12 I plan to have a nice meal of her favorite foods, use her favorite table cloth, look at photos of her and tell stories about her. Someone gave me a Yarhzeit candle so I will light that and say a prayer. She was sick for a long time and lived with my family. She died at our home surrounded by her family. The eldest died the year before from cancer. My hubby wants to take the day off and spend it with me, but I have no idea what I want to do if anything. Thank you for the ideas and none I choose are wrong. I guess helpful or not, would be the right way to put it. She was diagnosed with brain cancer shortly after their first and only child was born. He worked full time, took care of her, the house the child…you name it, for about 20 years. That baby just got accepted in to medical school last what to do for your one year anniversary. So, thank you for your help, insight and list. I have a few things now that I will talk about that can hopefully ease him through tomorrow and the future. My Daughter passed away last year on March 23rd, at the age of 31, her one year anniversary is coming up soon, an I really appreciate the list you have, it has given me some great ideas. She was not only my daughter but my best friend. So I asked this over on Facebook and got a few good suggestions. We had a quiet dinner at home. We wrote notes to him which we taped on helium balloons 1 for each of us. We each held a cupcake w a candle and stood outside in a circle. We sang Happy Birthday then blew out our candles and released our balloons. Not too Eco-friendly, I know, but it worked for us. It was out own version of sending candles to heaven. Hi Debbie, it is so thoughtful you are trying to find something perfect for the memorial. You could order the one we have listed, or create your own. Each page allows people there to share their favorite memory of the person, a message to their family, etc. If you created one yourself, it could include whatever you want- favorite memory, things her mom taught people that still carry on, etc. This way you could fill out a page, then at the memorial everyone there could take time to fill out a page. Also, there is a lot of neat memorial jewelry online. Etsy is a great place to look for really unique, customizable options. Let us know what you end up deciding to do. Sometimes its hard to know exactly what you need and even harder to actually ask. I do hope some of the suggestions were helpful, but what to do for your one year anniversary course your uncle was a special man who will inspire unique ways of being remembered. I hope your memorial service goes well. This information was very helpful, on February 6, 2014 it will be the 2nd Anniversary for my beloved mother. I have no siblings and I have been on an emotional roller coaster. He was such a unique person that I feel some of these do not apply to honoring him to the fullest. Although I have found some to be very helpful and I might just use them at his memorial service next month. In a couple of days its going to be my sons first anniversary as an angel in Heaven. I feel that i have lost him few days ago. I am making a gathering to all his friends, teachers and everyone he touched with his warm smile and loving kind heart. I planned to sell cookies to donate to Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, where he was treated. I will get helium balloons in red, and release them at the time he became an angel. I will also try to play a slide show of him. His friends will colour rocks and put them around the tree his school planted by his name. I spent some time rearranging furniture and organizing my space, which is something she would always do, I think as a way of clearing her mind. When I brought this up to my husband, he suggested that maybe we turn this into an actual tradition, since it seems to be something that I just naturally do anyway. What a thoughtful thing for him to suggest. Being able to celebrate one of her idiosyncracies is exactly what I needed. It helps us feel closer to her. I hope you are doing well and are surrounded by wonderfully supportive people. Thank you so much for this list. So glad I discovered your blog. All of the suggestions have really helped me to get through each day. I always forward your blog to others who are grieving or helping those who are grieving.

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